When Mindy Kaling was a little girl, she couldn’t have imagined how her life would turn out. Today, she is a highly successful actor, comedian, writer, director, producer and more.
She also never predicted that she would be an unmarried mother of two.
“Growing up, I wrote in magazines like, ‘I’m going to marry a man named Josh and we’re going to have five kids and I’m going to have kids when I’m 24′” Kaling reflected on Meghan Markle’s“Archetypes.” “But 24 came and went. No Josh, no marriage, no four kids.”
At the age of 24, Kaling was at the beginning of her career working as a writer for ‘The Office’. She wasn’t ready for a relationship, let alone marrying children, she said.
“I was just happy to be in SAG (Screen Actors Guild) and have health insurance,” Kaling told Markle. “The idea that you’d jeopardize all that with something personal — you know, I was just so focused on keeping that job and making money and earning a good professional reputation.”
For years, people have speculated about Kaling’s relationship status. Most recently, Kaling had to…on rumors that her “Office” co-star BJ Novak is the father of her children. And while she’s not necessarily bothered by the rumours, Kaling said she understands there’s an unfair assumption that every woman needs a man.
“Growing up as an overweight dark Indian girl, glasses, on the lily-white suburbs of Boston, I never thought I was attractive,” she said. “And I think that was a sense of belonging, when a guy deigns to make you their girlfriend.”
“I wasn’t that smart back then, you know,” Kaling added. “I was more insecure then. I’m stronger and more confident now.”
While Kaling said she has all the support she needs, she can’t help but wonder how her children will be affected by the lack of a father.
“I know that would be so valuable to my kids, that they have a father,” she said. “I think about it with wistfulness, and then fear, like, what will they think when they get older?”
Kaling said she still ponders why her personal life did not follow a traditional path.
“Why not me? Why am I not the person who got married? I’m still investigating it. It makes me emotional.”
She also thinks about how her family in India, where marriage is strongly emphasized, would receive her life choices.
“I haven’t been to India since then” [I was] 14, but you start to think, like, ‘What do my relatives in India think about this? Does this cause tremendous shame to our family that I have made this decision?'”
But all in all, the creator of “Never Have I Ever” said she knows she made good choices at the right time for herself and her family.
“I’m often amazed at how different my life is now. I’m 43. I have two children. I live with a nanny I love,” Kaling said. “I have my community that empowers me to make that decision, and I also waited until my late 30s to have kids because I knew I needed the resources to do it comfortably.”
You could say she’s pretty happy with how things turned out.
“I promise you I’m happy, and I’m not just saying that,” Kaling said.